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AppearancesCheck out my chat loop and publisher loops! Nothing "officially" scheduled. Other InfoBooks available from Changeling Press Books available from Ellora's Cave Books available from Samhain Publishing To subscribe to my monthly newsletter please send an email or visit my newsletter page for alternative methods of joining. To subscribe to my chat loop please send an email or visit the group site.
Reviews"The storyline was pure reading heaven..." - Talia Ricci, Joyfully Reviewed, for Riding Partner "This
novella is an erotic romance and delivers on both counts - it is quite romantic
and is full of some hot bed play." Marina, Cupid's Library Reviews for Revealing
Photos " UNDER HER SKIN is so much more than a wonderful romance, it’s
a lesson in love and acceptance. It is an experience not to be missed."
Recent Posts
Writing Wednesday: Scruff your inner editor Sexy Feet - Some Thoughts on Cover Art Writing Without Distractions Writing Wednesday: Is it really work? Marketing Monday: Code Everything You Send Finding Your Bliss...Bears? Writing Wednesday: Writer's Organizations Make A Difference Monday: Get out of the Box My March 2008 newsletter is out! New Release - Mission: Carnal (Live Action Hero 1)
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Lying in bed, trying not to get trampled by one of the kitties, I heard the most awful sound. It took a moment to penetrate my sleep-fogged brain, and when it did, I realized it was my cell phone on vibrate. I crawled out of bed and out to the dinning room table. I flipped open the phone and stared at the unfamiliar number. Where was that area code from? Not the east coast, I didn't think, but damn, if that number didn't sound familiar. I waited for a message. Surely if it were an important call they'd leave a message. None came. So I completed my rounds of morning medications for the kitties, got kind of dressed and brewed a cup of coffee. After all, if it were an important phone call, I didn't want to sound incoherent. When no message, and no additional call was forthcoming, I called the number back. "Hello," said a gruff voice on the other end. My cell phone identified the number as being in Florida. Well Crap! "I'm sorry, I received a call from this number, but no message was left. I wanted to return it in case it was important," I said. "Did I talk to you about a junk car?" "I guess it was a wrong number. Thank you." On the other end of the line the man harrumphed and hung up. In this age of instant communication, such exchanges (albeit without the junk car) are probably common. We see a phone number. We don't recognize it. And if our curiosity gets the better of us, we call. Wrong numbers suddenly turn into convoluted webs of communication, and we are all connected. Considering how cars are in my family's past (my grandfather and father ran a junk yard when I was too young to watch Sesame Street), and my father and I used to spend many Saturday afternoons cruising the car lots, just for fun, I thought the conversation I had with this wrong number a sign of just how small the world was. Because you see, another time, another place, he might have been discussing junk cars with me, or with my father. A wrong number on a cell phone probably seems like a such a silly thing to blog about, but I like finding things like these and contemplating them, finding deeper meanings within the webs. Yeah, it was just a wrong number. But at least it was an interesting one.  
Going on vacation doesn't mean going off your weight loss plan. It does take some forethought and planning. This past weekend we went down to our land in Missouri. A vacation full of brats and barbecue. Hiking and hotel rooms. We must have hiked at least two miles every day, up and down those lovely steep Ozark hills. At a nature center, on our land, everywhere we could really, we hiked. In fact, I deliberately parked away from our land so we could hike down the road to the land. It's all about making choices and making weight loss fit into YOUR life. Did I eat brats? Hell yeah! But I only had one at each meal. Did I have barbecue? Oh yeah, baby, I did. But I walked. And I ate in moderation. When we went through McDonald's instead of giving into the urge to have a sausage and egg mcmuffin, because really I haven't had one in over a year, I had a fruit and yogurt parfait. Choices. Decisions. Goals. And the scale gods were kind to me this week. This week (tomorrow) marks the 1-year anniversary of my starting Weight Watchers. In this year, I've lost 81.4 lbs. Not bad for a chick who used to eat McDonalds for breakfast and lunch every day. I like to think that if I can do it, anyone can do it. On vacation. During the work week. Even on those days off. Just make every decision you can a good one. One meal. One bite at a time. Happy Anniversary to me! I think I'll celebrate by going for a walk.
My bio says that I have a dream home near the Mark Twain National Forest (a part of it, since there are pockets of forest all over southern Missouri). Well, this weekend, we visited it. No, the picture above isn't from our land. It's from a nature area near Springfield, MO. But the picture below is us on our land. It's good to be home, but you know...vacations are great too! Especially when they're to a home away from home.
 want to wish everyone a Happy Oestara/Happy Spring (whatever you celebrate!) Here are some pictures from last year of my other half, and his "Princess" Druscilla dyeing eggs, one of our family Spring traditions. You see, when I was a kid, we had to use those wrap-arounds. And they're cute. But I really want to dye. With colors and newspaper and MESS! So, as an adult, every year I dye eggs. This year we're planning on doing so on Monday since we'll be out of town this weekend camping on our land in Missouri. Hooray!!!! So, I want to take this time to wish you and yours a HAPPY SPRING!!!!!
I had intended to come back this week with bad news on the scales and a post about why depression is so insidious to weight loss. All those "comfort" foods, the images we get in the media of a pint of ice cream, or rich, decadent chocolate cake, or even cookies, how we "feed" our emotions, and for those of us with depression it can be a horrible downward spiral. But, whether it was because I wasn't conscious of what I was doing, or whether it was my body's natural rhythm or just because the scale gods smiled on me, I lost weight this week. And not only did I lose a little, I lost a lot. A whopping like three pounds, which pushed me over the hurdle into losing a total of 80.2 lbs. Guess I better go buy those shoes I blogged about last week? So this week I'm going to talk about handling surprises. It can be startling, shocking even to step on the scale expecting one number and finding one completely different. We want to celebrate! Cheer! Jump up and down for joy! Do all those things. But do them WITHOUT food. If you had a week like I had, and finding these numbers is like getting a winning lottery ticket. Yeah, I want to celebrate. But I want to do so right. Which means, after I return from my camping trip this weekend, I'm going to buy those shoes. I'm not going to eat. I'm going to watch what I'm doing. I'll be hiking a lot this weekend, but I'll also be keeping things firmly in perspective. Next week, I'll probably be talking about surviving four days in the wild without Weight Watchers foods. :)
I've been meaning to blog yesterday and today about recovering from my computer crash, but recovered I am. And in perfect time! My new podcast (http://podcasts.marywinter.com/) features an interview with Luck of the Irish author Jennifer Dunne, a discussion with author LA Day about why she loves basketball, and my partner, Steve, debuts, Stargazing with Steve Winter. And did you know April is National Have Sex With an Elf Month? Why, yes it is! And in honor of the occasion, I've spruced up my Elemental Elves website (http://www.elementalelves.com/) and will be starting a contest on April first. You can vote for which one of four lucky Elven bachelors you'd love to have sex with. Additional entries into the contest for a $25 Changeling Press gift certificate can be had by joining my newsletter (send a blank email to marywinternews-subcribe@yahoogroups.com) and using an exclusive coupon code for your Changeling Press shopping. Code to be revealed on April 1. I'm really excited about this contest and can't wait!
The guys at work introduced me to BattleOn. And, the role playing fantasy geek in me really likes it (http://aq.battleon.com/build30/charview.asp?temp=3375613). (Can you tell? But, an article by an author I really like and admire, Jennifer Dunne, in the March issue of Lady Jaided (www.ladyjaided.com) introduced me to Second Life. Oh, I knew when I talked to Jennfer about it that I would be in dangerous territory. Buying clothing? Without spending lots of "real life" money? A universe where you can create an avatar of yourself and be anything you want? Oh dangerous, dangerous territory. And I have one thing to say: I was oh-so right! So I've just started. I have a body (my skin still says Demo, hehe!), hair that I love (that is so much better than my real life hair, and isn't that the point?), sexy high heels and short shorts. I have to promise myself that this is a treat. As in, get everything done on the "to do" list, and then see if there's time left over to play. But, I think I am in very dangerous territory. And I like it. A lot!
I've been struggling with gaining and losing these 5 lbs for a few weeks now. I've got my determined cap back on, my plan in place, and I'm ready to go. My plan? 1) track everything I eat in the Weight Watchers point tracker. That keeps me accountable. Even having a notebook where you can write down what you eat helps you to plan not only what you've had, but what you should have and even figure out trends. 2) exercise, preferably outside with the horse. The weather is gorgeous, and should be that way for a few more days before it turns chilly gain. If I can't go out to the horse then do something like walk up to the mailbox at the main office here (I use a PO box so my "street" address is just a junk catcher) or like today, my lunch-time plan is to walk up to the gas station to get a bag of ice. A nice long walk carrying 10lbs...there's a work out! 3) Move forward! Just like they say in sports "shake it off" and move forward. Yeah, last week sucked. But I know why. And I'm ready to look ahead. The only thing I can change is the next minute. And the next. And the next. So...last night, as I was gathering my determination, I decided to polish my fingernails and my toenails. Now keep in mind, I'm a tomboy at heart, so my chipped, ill-manicured nails are now painted cherry red, along with my toes. And I realized something... I have fat shoes! I love going barefoot. Sandals are my best friend. But not last year. Not when I got so heavy. All my shoes are heavy, chunky sneakers, hiking boots, those "airwalk" shoes which are now too big for me since I've lost weight... boots... something that covers my feet from sole to calf. And you know what I realized looking at my freshly painted tootsies last night? I have nice looking feet. There's no need to hide them! So, my plan -- once I lose these stubborn 5 lbs to bring my grand total up to 80, I'm getting me a cute pair of shoes. I know what I want. I think they're called "wedge" shoes (yep, just checked the site). Now, I've never really worn high heels. But I want to. It's part of the new, sexy me. So, here are a few of my favorites, and yes, I shop at Payless Shoes...  Now these are cute. I may break my ankles, but I'll do so in adorable shoes...   Ditto for these guys...  And these are just nice.... Hmm... maybe I"ll have to get more than one pair! I'll evolve into a fashion diva yet. Just wait and see. And as far as those "fat" shoes (men's sneakers, and my Ariat riding sneakers, which I love.... well, there will be a time and a place for those like camping and hiking.)
I don't know about you, but I'm ready for Spring. The grey skies, the endless ice and snow that we seem to get in February...as much as I love winter, I'm done. I can't wait to dive my fingers into the dirt, plant flowers, vegtables, anything that's green and going to grow. I want to spend hours at the barn, not worry about rain, ice, slush, or freezing my fingers off. I want my fuzzy teddy bear of a horse to be sleek, fat and happy on lush green pastures. But it's not even March 10. Which means spring won't officially arrive for two more weeks. So what are you doing to get by until spring arrives? For me, I'm looking at seed catalogs, hoping the snow melts enough to clean off flower beds, and making plans for the upcoming season. In a coule of weeks my partner and I will be going camping, which should help the building cabin fever. And this weekend Daylight Savings Time begins, which heralds the impending arrival of spring. Let's hope that with DST coming sooner spring will come sooner too.
Wikipedia defines smut as the following:
Now, I've written porn, and I've written erotica, and I've also written erotic romance. I also used to jokingly refer to what I write as "smutty romance." I don't any longer. Why? Because what I write doesn't fit the definition as outlined above of "smut." It's not a grass fungi. And, it's not a British Comic. And I don't write satirical songs. That leaves the last definition, a colloquial term for obscenity. Just what is obscenity? If we go back to wikipedia, it tells us that obscenity in Latin obscenus, meaning "foul, repulsive, detestable", (possibly derived from ob caenum, literally "from filth"). The term is most often used in a legal context to describe expressions (words, images, actions) that offend the prevalent sexual morality of the time. This provokes the question, is erotic romance, or more specifically erotic romance obscene? Well, I don't think so. It doesn't offend me. Pushes some of my buttons yes, takes some things to the edge and a smidge beyond, yes. But never offensive. There are people who find the frank sexual descriptions found in erotic romance to be offensive to them. Just as there are people who would find the prevalent discussions of God in an inspirational romance to be offensive. In fact, if you look at media, I'm sure there's more than something out there to offend everyone. To me, if we say erotic romance is offensive, well, then we're making that distinction at the exclusion of everything else. If we're being honest here, there are some nights when I find Steven Colbert's show funny and offensive all at the same time! All of this means that I don't call what I write smut anymore. It's not offensive. It's not dirty. Erotic romance can be many things. And while I'm all for reclaiming words, I'm also all about using the proper words. And when it comes to smut, it's not even in the same universe as what I write. And that's why I proudly say I write erotic romance! I don't write smut.
No, really. It is. :) Now don't get me wrong, I love to cook. And I really love to cook for an appreciative audience. My meat & potatoes guy likes it when I cook. He enjoys my dishes, doesn't complain too much when it's the same old, same old. But my parrots, now they really enjoy a good meal. In the wild, parrots forage for whatever they can find. Insects. Nuts. Fruits. They're opportunistic and enthusiastic eaters. When kept in our homes most people make the mistake of feeding their parrots an all-seed diet. After all, we buy "bird seed" for the birds outside. Feeding a parrot bird seed is well, like when I used to eat McDonald's for breakfast and lunch, and then come home to a bag of microwave popcorn with a whole bunch of real butter for dinner. It filled me up. It tasted good. But it was nutritionally junk. The reason why our wild birds eat seeds is because they expend so much energy hunting for food, nesting sites, defending territory and doing all those things the wild birds do, so they need the extra calories found in seed. In a cage, with food and water provided on demand, our parrots become perch potatoes. Just like in humans, fat parrots = unhealthy parrots. So, to provide the wide variety of foods (because we still don't know the nutritional requirements of parrots like we do for livestock, cats, or dogs), I cook for my birds. I primarily cook two things: birdy bread and a mix of beans, pasta, & grains. My bird bread recipe is easy. One box of Jiffy Cornbread mix, 1 egg (with the shell for added calcium) 1 cup of pellets, 1 jar of baby food (organic, the little jars like the ones labeled (1)), 1/2 small bottle of baby juice. Mix. Bake. Cut into squares. Freeze a good portion of it, thawing as needed, and feed to my enthusiastic parrot! The other recipe is either homemade or store bought (like Krazy Korn, Beak Appetit, Goldenseal, etc..). It is a mixture of grains, pasta, beans, dried veggies like peas & carrots, sometimes dried fruit. Cook according to package directions. Freeze a good portion of it, thawing as needed and feed. My "boys" also get free choice pellets, and of course, clean, fresh water. Like me, they need more fresh fruits & veggies, but I do share what I eat with them. It can be amusing to have my partner come out, sniff, and ask me what's cooking. I smile and tell him it's for the parrots. He shrugs. He knows, when I'm all done cooking for the parrots, I'll cook for him...if he's good. :) If you share your life with a fid (feathered kid) or consider yourself a parront (parrot parent), why don't you let me know. I love to talk to other parrot owners/lovers.
My goal here is not to inundate you with TMI information. However, as an erotic romance author, I wanted to talk a bit about sex and losing weight. Most women want to lose weight to look better. Sure, the health benefits weigh in there too. The truth of the matter is: most women aren't happy with their body. This leads us to lose weight and other measures to try and look "good." Another truth is that for women, our biggest sexual organ is our brain. That's why we like to read erotic romance. When we don't have confidence in ourselves or our appearance, then we don't feel sexy and desirable. This leads to loss of sex drive or not feeling comfortable having sex. Except, studies have shown if you try to lose weight just to look "good" then you're probably going to fail. You need to have a concrete goal in mind in order to achieve your goal. Otherwise, you're striving for that elusive "good" which seems constantly out of reach. What does this have to do with sex? Everything. Having lost almost 80 lbs (79.4 to be exact) as of this morning, I can tell you that my body confidence has soared through the roof. I've always been okay, if not loving my body. After all, we're all made in images of the goddess. Some of us just look more like the Venus of Willendorf than Athena or Artemis. And some of us, as I used to be fond of saying, were simply born in the wrong century. So while my self-esteem may have flagged in other areas, my body image was okay. I never really saw myself as morbidly obese. Just--well---goddess sized. For me, weight loss has done a couple of significant things outside the loss in clothing size and the sheer numbers. It's increased my libido (a scary thought) and it's enabled me to feel more comfortable in certain positions, and increase my repertoire of them. Not a bad trade off. And it bodes well for the research. (evil grin!) In order to do this though, I've needed a healthy body image. I have to be happy with who I am right now while working for changes. And the numbers don't lie. I can tell you from 1994/1995 to 2006, I had put on at least 80 lbs. Scary. And we'll talk about the emotional "weight" of those numbers as well as just the physical in a future week's column. I guess my somewhat rambling point is, be happy with where your body is right now. Revel in your femininity and your sexuality. Enjoy what you have. Embrace it. Use it. My "slogan" (for lack of a better word) is "explore seasons of passion." Those seasons embrace not only the wheel of the year, but the waxing and waning of our own bodies. Our ages. Our abilities. Explore what you have and enjoy it. You just never know what you might find.
 Okay, so I was going to blog about how I now have a podcast! You can listen to my very first show at http://podcasts.marywinter.com/ I had a blast yesterday putting this together and hope you enjoy listening to it.However, one of my friends posted a link to one of her friend's live journal, where she posted some pictures of Jamie Bamber. *pauses to wipe away the drool* These are PEOPLE outtakes and the photographer was Just Loomis. The pictures are copyright those guys, not me, but oh am I looking. Look and behold the hotness!  I swear, he provides the inspiration for so many...stories. And not all of them are BSG fanfic! You don't know who this guy is? Why, he's Jamie Bamber, and in addition to his many other roles, he currently plays Lee Adama (Apollo) on SciFi Channel's hit series, Battlestar Galactica! He's saved us from the cylons, gotten married, held his marriage together (now that is a strong, hot man), and done it with boyish good looks, a backbone of steel, and his incredible sexiness. Oh Apollo how do I love thee, let me count the ways... And in this final picture, I swear he's daring someone to remove that towel. I don't suppose they'd let me cut to the front of the line, would they? (wink!) Enjoy! And have a wonderful weekend!!!! 
If you're anything like me, you have shelves of books you've read and shelves of books to be read. I'd look at a book, put it back thinking I'd read it, then later discover I hadn't. Or, I'd purchase a book, only to discover I already had a copy. I needed a way to catalog my books. I'm too cheap to buy software, and frankly, I wasn't happy with the way Readerware handled the books. And then a friend introduced me to LibraryThing. http://www.librarything.com/ This website allows you to have a free account (up to 200 books, then it's very reasonable) to have a virtual bookshelf. Not only can you list your books, but you can meet others who like the same authors. A myspace for books, if you will. Their customer service is great, as I found out when I emailed them about ebooks that may not be available in Amazon.com and getting those added to the database. To put it simply, for my book cataloging needs this is the perfect solution! Perfect! And, since I know there are many others out there like myself, who have way too many books, I thought I'd mention it so you could see if it worked for you. That's all. Just a friendly thought from a fellow book addict!
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