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Monday, March 05, 2007 52 Weeks of Weight Loss: The Sexual Side of Losing

My goal here is not to inundate you with TMI information. However, as an erotic romance author, I wanted to talk a bit about sex and losing weight. Most women want to lose weight to look better. Sure, the health benefits weigh in there too. The truth of the matter is: most women aren't happy with their body. This leads us to lose weight and other measures to try and look "good."

Another truth is that for women, our biggest sexual organ is our brain. That's why we like to read erotic romance. When we don't have confidence in ourselves or our appearance, then we don't feel sexy and desirable. This leads to loss of sex drive or not feeling comfortable having sex. Except, studies have shown if you try to lose weight just to look "good" then you're probably going to fail. You need to have a concrete goal in mind in order to achieve your goal. Otherwise, you're striving for that elusive "good" which seems constantly out of reach.

What does this have to do with sex?

Everything.

Having lost almost 80 lbs (79.4 to be exact) as of this morning, I can tell you that my body confidence has soared through the roof. I've always been okay, if not loving my body. After all, we're all made in images of the goddess. Some of us just look more like the Venus of Willendorf than Athena or Artemis. And some of us, as I used to be fond of saying, were simply born in the wrong century. So while my self-esteem may have flagged in other areas, my body image was okay. I never really saw myself as morbidly obese. Just--well---goddess sized.

For me, weight loss has done a couple of significant things outside the loss in clothing size and the sheer numbers. It's increased my libido (a scary thought) and it's enabled me to feel more comfortable in certain positions, and increase my repertoire of them. Not a bad trade off. And it bodes well for the research. (evil grin!)

In order to do this though, I've needed a healthy body image. I have to be happy with who I am right now while working for changes. And the numbers don't lie. I can tell you from 1994/1995 to 2006, I had put on at least 80 lbs. Scary. And we'll talk about the emotional "weight" of those numbers as well as just the physical in a future week's column.

I guess my somewhat rambling point is, be happy with where your body is right now. Revel in your femininity and your sexuality. Enjoy what you have. Embrace it. Use it. My "slogan" (for lack of a better word) is "explore seasons of passion." Those seasons embrace not only the wheel of the year, but the waxing and waning of our own bodies. Our ages. Our abilities. Explore what you have and enjoy it. You just never know what you might find.

Posted by Mary Winter :: 9:31 AM :: 2 comments

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