On the Weight Watchers boards you'll hear people talk about "the click" a lot. And really, that's exactly what it was. So, rolling back the clock, imagine me in January 2006. I'm almost 300 lbs. My mother, grandmother, aunt, and uncle all have diabetes. Dad died in 2004 of esophageal cancer, but his mother had really bad diabetes, so bad she died when he was still in high school, and then there's the heart problems that run in my family. Between that and my penchant for spending time out at the barn, well, frankly, I didn't expect to live to see 30. (Sometimes I'm not the most opitmistic of people either, haha!!!) But, hey, it's now January 2006 and I've turned 30. (I think of it as my partner telling me that the years sound more and more futuristic every day, and I'm more freaked out by my age. But I'm really starting to like this decade.)

I kind of realized I liked being "old." You see, I'm old enough to know better (or exactly what I'm doing) but young enough to still do it. I matured a lot since moving to the capital city of Iowa (2006 was my 10 year anniversary up here and with my employer), and damn it, I wanted to be skinny. The click happened. It took me a couple of months to screw up my courage and say "yes, I'm going to do this," but then I enrolled in Weight Watchers. I've been following the points program ever since and now you can see me in this picture taken Saturday night. It was pajama party night at the annual science fiction club's new year's party, and those pjs were a size 26/28 and laughably huge on me. But still really comfy.

But it's "the want" that makes me have only ONE potato chip. Yes, you read that correctly. If I'm at a party and want to snack, then I'll eat healthy things, but if I can't just bring myself to bypass the really bad food, I'll have ONE potato chip or a small corner of bread, or even heaven forbid, ONE Dove chocolate (a staple at our weekly gaming sessions). Because then I can say "I've tasted it."

It's "the want" that gives us will power. Just like in writing "the want" makes us apply fanny to computer chair and fingers to keyboard. "The want" creates the drive and desire we need to achieve our goals. "The want" creates the click that happens when everything falls into place and we move at full steam ahead toward our dreams.

Not everyone has "the want." Some think they do, or they wish they had, but it isn't quite there yet. That is all right. I know I'm a type A personality and a Capricorn to boot, so I come across as quite strong sometimes, but really, weight loss, or the achievement of any dream, is a long and personal, spiritual, and emotional road. We are where we are on the journey, and there really is no destination. Rest areas maybe, but no true destination.

Cultivating the want means examining the reasons why we're doing something. For me, it was obvious. I am scared to death of getting the health issues that plague my family. Scared. To. Death. One of the best ways to keep that from happening is losing weight. All the little perks (like running into my ex and realized I looked better than when we were together or facing this year at turning 31 with a better body than I had at 21 (scary, huh!), are all just icing on the cake.) The fact my blood sugars are now within normal range. And my blood pressure is better than it was in high school... those too are just icing on this cake. And yes, it's a low point Weight Watcher friendly cake. :)

So as we approach a new year with it's resolutions, many of us are going to be looking at the number on the scale and resolving to make it lower. I'll discuss, sometimes candidly, about what worked and what didn't and why/how I'm where I am. Once a week, on Mondays. It's my weigh-in day, which means I'm facing that scale the same as you. And if I can help, or inspire, well, thank you. Because really, I'm just hoping I can share my story with you and help. And remember, whatever we do, we have to do it for ourselves! Therein lies "the want." And if you want anything bad enough, it'll happen!

Happy New Year everyone and may we all have a wonderful week!!!